I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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