I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
