tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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