I'm drive I can fine osifer
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
