It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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