In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
