I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
