3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
