someone threw a dead crab at me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
