Small penises have feelings too.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
