walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
