So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
