Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
