Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
