Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
