Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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