from now on my penis is your penis
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
