"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
