I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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