come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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