The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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