splinters make it hard to masturbate
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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