Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
