Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
