i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
