I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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