You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
