Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
