You're a womanizer and a bitch.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
