Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
