Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
