I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
