I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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