at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
