The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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