3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
