Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
