I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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