we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
