I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
