Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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