Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I need moral support for this bender
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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