i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
