Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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