I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
