There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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