Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
