I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
