last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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