He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
