if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
