So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He felt like a one man threesome
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
50% drunk capacity currently
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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